A Random Hearted Side Project
by Queens of the mole people
Summary: This is a nice and random installment in a continuation series. Please spare a moment and read. Written by both Queens of the Mole People.
1. Chapter 1

This story was written by Generation Pope and Insanity. Please R&R! And we will spare your pitiful existance from a fiery death.

Thank you.

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A Random-Hearted Side Project

CHapter 1

One weird ass year later, Sora was at the tailors getting a new saving the world outfit. Puberty had struck him while he was hibernating and he needed a new one so that he wouldn't break it open if he went to kick Goofy in the jawbone. Goofy was sitting in a chair nearby reading the new edition of cosmo girl while he waited for Sora to be done. He occasionally looked up from his magazine to note the other bears coming in who to needed new outfits because they had been hibernating.

"Hyuck Hyuck hoohoooo! Bleep bleep do0000ooooOOOOooooopppp" Goofy squealed as he sat in the chair.

"Goofy shut up! Stop making retarded sounds!" Sora yelled

"GyuhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHH" Goofy's eyes were starting to look separate ways as he rocked back and forth squealing random inaudible noises.

I guess he never really got over being turned into a pen, I wonder what it was like…I guess I might have hurt him when I stirred that scolding hot chocolate with him, or when I shoved him down Yuffie's throat as an attempt to kill her…Oh well he'll move on. Sora thought and then backhanded Goofy.

Goofy was rolling in circles on the floor muttering 'so much ink' to himself in his southerly hic accent. when the tailor called to Sora to go get his outfit.

"All right I'm coming garment-keep" Sora yelled back as if garment-keep was a real word.

When Sora received his new outfit he grabbed Goofy and dragged him along the ground by his hat thing that seemed to never fall off even when he did flips in the air or fell off of large objects. They made their way to the gummy ship to take off to Atlantica.

When they arrived Sebastian informed them on a new musical he was directing.

"Are you fucking retarded or something?" Sora asked seriously while burning Goofy's retarded chef hat off while it was still on his head since it was physically impossible to remove.

"No why would I be mon" Sebastian said in his jamai-crab accent. (Jamacian+crab)

"Because first of all who the fuck wants to listen to a bunch of cru station whores trying to sing a song about how good life is 'under the sea' when in fact it sucks"

"Why do you tink it sucks mon?"

"Because your moms an ugly bitch! That's why" Sora retorted " AND I wasn't finished my rant yet; second of all you might think your talking in English when you sing but really your making a bunch of clicks and squeaking noises that sounds like Goofy going through a panic attack. And third of all I hate the scent of potatoes! SO HA!" Sora yelled.

"O…well if tats how you feel," Sebastian said disappointedly

'At least Donald's, not here to participate, imagine him trying to sing'… Sora thought.

Just then Ariel swam past and stopped before just running into a wall and falling into a fiery doom even though they were under water.

"Sora, Goofy…where's Donald?" She asked

"O he died…" Sora replied as if it was nothing to be sad about at all.

"O how terrible" Ariel exclaimed

"Actually…not really, we prefer it this way. Who wants to be around a duck that thinks he can talk but it's really just a blender making noises from under his mage's hat" Sora explained

And just then Flounder came swimming past. Then he ran into a sharp rock and his fat started to seep out through his wound.

"O no save me!" He cried as he was deflating

"What the fuck…Fat doesn't just come out like that…that would be some cheep ass lipo-suction right there. So that's how Jenny does it while allowing her clients to still eat fat shit.

" He exclaimed.

Then Flounder exploded and bits of fish flesh splattered onto Goofy's separated eyes.

"RAHHHSNdgsfkb" Screamed Goofy. Who ran swiftly into a fishhook and was dragged up to the surface by none other than prince Eric.

Up on the surface

Sora could hear

ALL RIGHT! WERE HAVIN' FISH TONIGHT! WAIT…WHAT THE FUCK KINDA' FISH IS THAT! NOT WORTHY OF MY BOWEL MOVEMENTS! BE GONE! And then Goofy's corpse drifted slowly back down to the bottom of the ocean and no one cared.

Sora completely ignored his friends decaying corpse drifting down into oblivion and instead started to happily feast upon fresh flounder that was still floating around in the water.

"AHHH CANABAL! HOW CAN YOU EAT YOUR OWN KIND MON!"? Sebastian screamed like a crazy fricken crab.

"Haven't you noticed I'm not a fish you fuck face? Now come here so I can feast upon some succulent hammerhead shark morsels.

"I'm a crab not a shark you idiot"

"You are what I say you are!" Sora yelled as he lunged at Sebastian.

Just then Ariel died of anorexia.

The end.

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Hope you all enjoyed. Please read the first installments of Random hearts if you have enjoyed this chapter. Because there is more randomness out there you just have to click on it.

P.S The crazy capital H in the title was intentional. Only for your enjoyment, so hope you enjoyed. **PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2: neverland

Well I know I haven't updated in a long time and I'm sorry! But here is a new chapter to the best of my ability. Enjoy XD Please R&R

-Generation Pope

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**A Random-Hearted Side Project**

**Chapter 2**

Once upon a day, Sora was flying through the universe with Goofy in the trusty Gummi ship. 

"SIMMONS! Hyuck Huyck! Stop Simmons!" Goofy screamed.

"What are you going on about now?" Sora asked exasperatedly.

"Simmons is running away!"

"WHO the FUCK is Simmons!?" Sora demanded.

"Well Hyuck, I kinda' wanted a new companion, plus what am I gonna tell the Ousama when I get back to the castle!"

"Well who said we wanted a new duck! We killed the old fowl for a reason! And did you just call King Mickey Osama as in Osama Binladin!?"

"No you silly goose! Ousama is King in Japanese!" (got to learn that vocab' folks)

"Since when do you speak Japanese!? You know what, never mind, were heading to Neverland."

Sora made an abrupt turn towards never land sending Goofy flying out the front window of the Gummi Ship.

"SORAAAA" Goofy Hicked from space.

Sora sighed and turned and went to fetch Goofy. He ripped both arms off of Kevin, the Gummi maintenance guy who liked to camp out in Cargo, and held them out for Goofy to grab onto.

After Goofy was back in the ship Kevin died of blood loss.

"Sora I think we should name the Gummi Ship! HYUCK" Goofy hyucked.

"It already has a name stupid! Sit down my dead- I mean dear Goofy, it's flashback time!" Sora announced as he used his Marijuana to make a smoky flashback effect in the air.

* * *

"_Hey Sora! I wanna name the raft!"_

_  
"No way Riku! I do!" _

"_Alright, since we are having an inter-friend conflict I think we should have a race to figure out who gets to name it."_

"_Alright…"_

_  
"If I win, we name the ship Riku's Cool!"_

"_I'll tell you what I wanna name it once I win" Sora said smugly._

"_Your on! Just a second" Riku picked up his Cambells soup can telephone_

"_RING RING, Hi yeah, Kairi, we need you to ref our race! Get down here Hoe!"_

_A minute later Kairi appeared._

"_ALRIGHTY GUYS HAHEHHAH!" Kairi giggled._

"_READY, STEADY! GO!"_

_With that they set off. Riku ran across the bridge, up the hill, up the stepladder, down the handlebar transporter thing and touched the star. _

"_That's funny, it's already lit up, like someone's been here, but there's no way I'm loosing!" Riku thought as he powered through and returned to Kairi._

"_Sorry RIKU! Sora's the winner!"_

"_But how!?"_

"

"_NO FAIR! REMATCH! This time, no using that way!" Riku yelled and he lined back up at the starting point._

_  
Sora rolled his eyes and lined up._

_Kairi suddenly fell into the Ocean. _

"_Oh fuck it! GO!" Sora yelled and they were off._

_Riku jumped onto the bridge thing and part of it collapsed. Riku fell into the shallow water on top of the splintering wood._

_  
"NOOOOO! My ankle! But I must power through! The raft must be called 'Riku's Cool!"_

_  
Riku started dragging himself along the shoreline like that perverted old mans dog in Family Guy until he reached the little sand cliff thing. _

_Sora had stopped to tie his shoe and was now walking at a leisurely pace along side Riku, he being a bit ahead of his crippled competition._

_Riku slowly dragged himself up onto the bank and slowly limped up onto the ladder for the handle bar transporter._

_Sora had been just behind Riku at this point, as he had stopped to plant a bear trap in the sand._

_Riku was climbing the ladder at snails pace, limping up every step or so. By the time they got to the top Sora was so angry he was about to kill Riku. But he controlled his anger and settled for violently shoving Riku off of the side of the platform. _

_Riku fell to a very mangled injury because coincidently he had fallen onto the bear trap. _

_Sora felt like having a nice jog, so he jogged to the star, touched it and then jumped onto a coconut tree. He grabbed a coconut tree and whipped it at Kairi who was just getting out of the water, from across the beach. She fell back in and no one cared._

_Sora felt he had won badly enough so he went to Riku who had just gotten free of the bear trap. _

"

* * *

"Garwsh Sora! What an interesting childhood flashback!" 

"Shut up Goofy, no one wants to hear you speak. It's like trying to listen to rat poison, boring and pointless but fun none-the-less".

They suddenly arrived at Neverland.

* * *

"HEY GUYS!" Yelled an unfamiliar flying Elf. 

"Oh my god! It's the green giant from those frozen bags of peas!" Sora screamed and he whipped peas at Peter Pan.

"No, no silly, my name is Peter, Peter Pan."

Sora bit into Peters arm.

"You have a bread like texture about you, anyways my name is Sora, and this is my follower Goofy."

"Nice ta'meet cha HYUCK!" Goofy said as if that whole sentence were one word.

"So, your a homeless orphan?" Sora asked. "Because all this world is, is a giant ship that holds 4 people, and a clock tower, which is inhabitable for people."

"No I'm not homeless, anyways, we need to save this world from heartless! You'll help me right?"

Sora stared at Peter with a blank look on his face for around 4 minutes.

"Sora…are you okay?" Peter said and he waved his hand infront of Sora's face.

"STAY OUT OF MY BUBBLE ANUOOS FACE!" Sora said and he broke Peters right hand.

Sora noticed Peter's foot was defying the laws of scientific matter, and was falling into the floor.

"AAHHH Sprit of the undead! Be gone, be gone!" Sora started to beat Peter senseless with the end of his very dense and blunt keyblade.

"Owww Sora What are you doing!?" Screamed peter whom was in extreme agony.

Suddenly it started to rain acid in the ship and Peter got his hat burned off before the rain stopped.

"Sorry Peter I just thought that you might be an undead spirit sent to the earth to steal everyone's boxing gloves and then bathe in them for your own amusement. You just strike me as the kind of guy who would do that.

"Ummm…anyways… Hey Sora! Look out!" Peter lunged at a heartless about to attack Sora.

"Garwsh Sora, Peter just went and saved you all fancy like"

"Shut up Goofy, I thought we already had the Rat Poison talk!"

"HEY Wait a second! You know, I never really thought about this, but since we were already doing flashbacks today Goofy it got me in the mood to kill you, I mean think about old times.

And When I was on my island my wooden sword that cost $3.50 AMERICAN dollars! Couldn't beat a heartless! But Peter Pan's dagger, which cost $2.45 NEVERLANDIAN dollars (one neverlandian dollar is equivalent to 0.05 American dollars), could slay one just fine! I don't see the logic here. I mean, Yha Goofy, you come from the ultimate kingdom and stuff, but Peter, your just gay…" Sora ranted.

"OH PETER! Watch out!" Sora screamed and he drew his keyblade, Peter turned quickly to see what was going on behind him. Once Peter had turned his back to survey the area that was behind him, Sora began beating him senseless again with the keyblade.

"Goofy! Get over here and help me beat Peter, or I'll deep fry Simmons when we get back on the ship!"

Goofy reluctantly came over and began to beat Peter into the ground with his shield.

"Yessssss spread the pain, the despair and destruction! MUHAHA" Sora cackled.

Sora then stopped beating Peter and ran to step on a save point. Just a peter was going to retaliate and stab Sora; Sora removed him from the party. He placed mini Peter in his pocket for later use of navigational skills and of course magic pixie dust. Just then they spotted a green trinity.

"SORA!" Goofy called. He bent over in a very presenting formation.

"What the hell!, are you doing Goofy?" Sora said like it was normal for things like this to happen.

Sora walked over to Goofy and began to beat him with Tinker Bell who was currently residing in an old oil lamp.

Once Goofy was bleeding enough for Sora's contentment, Sora walked over to the trinity spot and pulled the rope that would release the ladder.

"Come on you soon to be rotted corpse, let's blow this joint" Sora said. He dragged Goofy's mangled corpse onto the glowing green save point and suddenly the glowing stuff started to grope Sora.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Sora yelled as he felt glowing stuff flow up his pant leg.

"Hurry Goofy!" Sora yelled and he kicked Goofy in the side.

"I said hurry Damn it!"

Goofy was almost in too much despair to talk.

"Hurry and do what Sora? Hyuck…" Goofy managed to say.

"Never mind you bumbling Idiot, your never useful to me or my plans!" Sora said.

Just then they appeared on top of the clock tower. Sora's keyblade started going crazy.

* * *

"HEY! Stop that you wretched blade!" Sora yelled. He managed to get the keyblade to stop trying to seal the keyhole by shoving it into Goofy. 

He pulled Peter Pan from his pocket so that he was back in the party.

"Fly me to my 'FUCK RIKU!' or I'll stop your heart." Sora threatened.

"Your…what?"

"My 'FUCK RIKU!' Do it now bitch!" Sora yelled.

"Garwsh Peter, I think he means the trusty old Gummi ship." Goofy said, still a mangled bleeding mass of nothing.

Sora grabbed Peter's elven ears and rode off to the Gummi ship, off to the next destination!

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So yeah, hoped you liked it. **Please R&R**! -Generation Pope 


	3. Chapter3: Tarzania

WE'RE NOT DEAD!

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**TARZANIA**

Today we find our heroes in the strange land of Tarzania located in the deep Jungle. They are currently staying with a monkey lover named Jane. She really only loves monkeys.

"Sora, wake up!" hyucked Goofy.

Sora groaned and rolled out of bed into his bathtub which rests beside his bed. He sat in the water for a minute and got clean before rolling back into bed.

"Sora! It's really time to get up!" Goofy said a tad bit too cheerfully.

"Aww fuck your bitch Goofy!" Sora said and he summoned Mushuu to shoot fireballs at Goofy's ugly chef hat.

Sora awakened not too long after that because Tarzan was standing on top of Sora.

"Get the fuck off Tarzan!"

Tarzan proceeded to do no such thing. He just stared at Sora and rocked back and forth. Sora started to get really mad. He jumped up and walked around the tent. However, Tarzan followed.

"_SUCK MY NADS TARZAN!_" Sora yelled in rage. He started to sprint around the tent.

Ten minutes later he was still running from Tarzan. But Tarzan was catching up. He started to jump over objects, like the table and the projector just to get to Sora.

"_TARZAN YOU CAN SUCK MY SCROTES_! " Sora screamed while running. He was just about to summon Bambi so he could hoof him in the eye, but he tripped over a weird thing.

'_Hmm_ what's this' Sora thought. He picked up the weird paper object. It seemed to be a book.

The book was called 'ancestry of idiots' He flipped it open to the index and saw Goofy's name.

What a coincidence. There was a big diagram of Goofy's face, but it looked weird.

"Hey Goofy, wanna know another stupid thing about yourself? This book says you actually evolved from a human vagina." Sora pointed and then started to laugh hysterically.

"Now that I think about it, your hat also looks like scrotes." Sora said between laughter.

"hyuck…well sora…I don't think that's really approp---"

"Shut up!"

"Now now you two, there shall be no negativity in my tent" Said Jane like a bitch pansy.

"You know what Jane, don't even talk. I actually even forgot you were here because you're so skinny and deformed that I thought you were a lamp! And Tarzan! It looks like 6 apes took a nice shize right on your head! And you just decided to wear them as hair! And goofy, don't you talk either you ugly dog, even your own mom doesn't like you! You thought she was putting on lipstick but she was actually giving you the finger last time you said goodbye to her!" Sora ranted.

"Sora that's enough!" Jane said defensively "Here, come sit around and I'll show you a slideshow so you know a little history of the village."

Jane coaxed Sora over to the little piece of floor in front of the slide projector that was clearly older than the entire human civilization. She showed pictures of sailboats, a land mass, some gorillas, some pots and pans, and some old cave drawings.

"Do you honestly think those 6 pictures helped me to understand the history of this village!?" Sora questioned angrily.

"Well, they were just small things…I don't know I thought you might have liked them sora…" Jane said in a hurt voice.

"Well I obviously didn't you lamp."

Just then Alex Trebec jumped through the wall of the tent that the pictures were being displayed on.

"Welcome to Jepordy! I'm your host Alex Trebec! Please pick from one of our 2 catagories; the process of cloning and advanced physics.

"Uhhh…cloning for 100 please" Said Sora.

"Okay~ what is the molecule used for betafusion of the brain tissue cells when cloning a mouse"

Sora shot Alex with a rifle.

Sora dragged the corpse outside; past a very terrified looking Jane. Tarzan and the posy followed.

"Ahhhh, freedom at last! That tent was much too stuffy to contain my wonderful self. Well now that we're in the open, I think we should play some games!" Sora exclaimed.

"Here here!"

"Jesus Christ, Donald are you _still_ alive, I seriously thought you'd died. And we aren't in the 16th century you scumbag!" Sora said as he kicked Donald out of his way.

Donald still ended up in his path of walking though.

"_FUCK DONALD_! Well I guess this just means it's FIGURE 8 TIME!" Sora said. He started running and pirouetting around Donald and Goofy in figure 8 patterns.

After he got tired of that, which only took a few seconds, they decided to play box king. Sora ran up the stack of boxes sitting in the middle of the camp for no reason and stood proudly on the highest box.

"HAHAHA I am the king of the boxes!" Sora exclaimed. But like an idiot Donald followed him up onto the boxes.

"GET OFF DONALD! Didn't you just hear me exclaim I was king of the boxes! GOD!_ FUCK YOUR FEATHERED ASS_!"

Sora punted Donald off the boxes and he landed in the random stove sitting outside the tent.

He hopped down from the boxes and ran into the next clearing which somehow took him to the tops of the trees high up in the jungle. Donald managed to catch up.

"Gawrsh Sora, look at this here fuzzy little creature" Goofy exclaimed while looking at a tree.

"That's a tree" Sora said with hardly any care at all.

"No, I mean this here little guy" Goofy hicked. He picked up the furry thing and held it out to Sora by the tail. Sora examined it from afar.

"THU-GER GHLI-DER!" Sora spat for no reason.

"Well gawrsh, whats uhh a tur-ger gil-dar Soraaa" Goofy hicked once again.

"It's that furry thing you god-damned hick" Sora spat back. "Now get hopping across those vines so we can find some cool new things to destroy" Sora commanded of Goofy and perhaps Donald if he was brave enough.

Goofy jumped onto the first vine and immediately after Sora started to laugh hysterically.

"HAHAHA YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH THAT TREE!" Sora laughed. "Watch how it's really done"

He exclaimed before leaping out into the clearing of vines. He farted SO loud and thought it might propel him across. But of course it didn't and he fell into hippo lagoon. Donald and Goofy followed.

"Aww screw your moms nads" Sora exclaimed in anger.

"bwhahsuhiuhgw *duck noise of anger* The ground is all wet!" Donald exclaimed.

"HAHAHA THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! HAHA…No wait…That's what I said hahaha" Sora laughed.

"Well anyways, how the fuck are we supposed to get across this lagoon, all we have are some tiny little islands and some fat ass things that look like Goofy's mother."

"gawrsh…well Sora, we could just hop across them because they seem to be moving at a planned kinda---"

"**HEY**!, _shut up_. I have a plan." Sora snatched up the seaweed that Donald had stepped on and tore a piece of Donald's shirt. He wrapped them around each other and then gagged Goofy with them and bound his hands. He then hit him over the head with Donald's staff and threw Goofy's corpse in the water.

He pulled Donald on and they rowed to the middle of the lake using Goofy's shield.

Once they were halfway out into the lake Sora stopped and turned to stare at Donald.

"Okay Donald, we're gonna play a game. It's called Death Frog. We have consistent platforms to cross at this point and so this is how you play. You crouch down and I hop over you. But if you don't move out of the way in time I stab you in the chest. Then you come and hop over me. It's simple; we jump over each other until we get to the other side."

Donald didn't want to anger Sora before the game started so he just nodded his head and the game began.

They reached the other side pretty quickly.

"Damn, you got lucky this time you scuddy Fowl, but mark my words, we're playing again on the way back." Sora untied Goofy in case he was needed for more floatation later down the road, and they all proceeded to go to the tree house.

"Why are we going all the way up here Sora?" Donald asked.

"Because I have another game to play. It's called Murder." Sora said. Donald and Goofy just followed In silence.

Sora charged up into the tree house and spotted the leopard. He squared off behind it and smacked it with the force of 1000 palms.

It rolled all the way out of the tree house and around the corner, down the ramp and was going to fall off of the platform.

Sora chased it to the very end.

"I'M NOT DONE KILLING YOU YET YOU SCUMBAG! YOU CAN'T JUST RECOIL-ROLL DOWN AN ENTIRE NEIGHBOURHOOD!"

The Leopard rolled into a new area. Sora ran after it.

* * *

-In the middle of abyss-

'_Fuck you load faster you stupid reality!' _Sora thought as he stood in darkness waiting for the next chunk of forest to load.

* * *

When he returned to reality the leopard was nowhere to be seen. Sora turned around and ran back to the previous area. He smacked into Goofy and Donald on his way back because they were following him like usual. He broke Goofy's nose on impact.

Sora rolled his eyes as Goofy started to bleed and kicked him in the shin.

"The damn cat isn't back yet. It's time for plan B. Grade A Goofnip."

"Uh Garwsh Sora…what's Goofnip?"

"I'll explain when we get back to the tree house Goofy my dear pal."

Sora beat Goofy in the spine and dragged him back up the pathway to the treehouse. He was just about to start slicing Goofy's limbs off when the Leopard jumped out of nowhere and started to claw at Donald's head.

"OH NO YOU DI'N'T" Sora screamed as he lunged towards the cat. He took a huge swipe at it but missed and launched himself off of the tree house platform and started to fall into the jungle.

"YO MAMAAAAAA" Sora screamed as he fell to his demise.

Sora fell through the tress to that place with the huge open rotting log and managed to grab onto a platform to stop his crash. Too bad it was suspended very high in the air. Without Goofy's corpse to break his fall, Sora was too afraid to get down.

* * *

2 days later, Goofy and Donald finally found Sora in the forest, where he was still hanging onto the tree.

"SORA!" Donald dreeched (duck+ screeched)

"_IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU CAME TO FIND ME!_ I've been hanging in this damn tree for...based on the activity of the sun led me to believe, 2 DAYS!"

"Gawrsh Sora, I didn't expect you to be able to hang on for that long."

"OH YEAH! I'll show you Goofy! I can hang here for 3 more days! Come back and find me then scumbag, and you'll see how truly manly I am!"

"Sora I don't think that's a very good id-"

"BE GONE!" Sora banished.

* * *

3 days later they returned for him and, as suspected he wasn't worn down, hungry, needing to piss/shize or in any pain. He hopped down with ease.

"See how damn manly I am, you better think twice next time you talk to me without bowing first scum." Sora said to Goofy.

"Well Sora, I'm sorry that I insul-"

"Ew you can stop talking. Look over there! A trinity!" Sora yelled as he ran over to the blue trinity on the ground.

"Get over here you shits" Sora said as he called his friends.

"3,2,1! GO!" They all jumped. Nothing appeared.

"What the hell, do it again" Sora demanded.

They all stomped once more and again nothing happened.

"THIS IS BULLSHIZE!" Sora yelled as he stamped up and down furiously.

He then noticed that he was stomping on something that wasn't ground but was Trinity from the Matrix. That trinity must have been a lie the whole time.

"Alright guys! TO THE TREEHOUSE!" Sora yelled as he ran back in the direction of the tree house.

When they got there Sora saw the leopard once again. He charged towards it and smacked it SO hard that it rolled out of the tree house, down the stairs, and right off the cliff. Goofy got out his binoculars and also noted that it rolled alllll the way down into the forest.

Sora jumped on a tree branch and began to surf down. But suddenly Tarzan appeared from nowhere!

"Fuck off you literal shithead!" Sora yelled behind him to Tarzan. He swerved so Tarzan would hit a branch and be knocked backwards. But the will to rape was too strong and Tarzan pressed on.

Sora cast a gravity spell behind him that temporarily fused Tarzan's body with the ground.

'_Good thing I fused that rapists body to the fucking tree so I can make an escape.'_ Sora thought.

When he reached the bottom of the forest, he ran back to the camp and went in the tent. He then beat Tarzan half to death.

As Sora was leaving the tent he noticed Jane and Clayton approaching so he ran and hid behind the stack of boxes to eavesdrop.

"Go talk to Kerchek Clayton! He has all the answers you need"

Sora followed Clayton into the forest. As they walked deeper into the forest Sora noticed that Clayton was leaving a trail of arm hair for himself to follow back out.

But Sora soon realized that the trail was to lure in the gorillas. Did Clayton figure that they would be attracted towards someone as hairy as them? Who knows.

Sora closed his eyes for a moment to picture Riku naked, but his gay fantasy was interrupted when a monkey heartless jumped out of the bushes.

Sora banished it to hell with a quick fira spell, but noticed it dropped a gummi ship part.

'_Why the fuck to heartless carry around ship parts in their souls'_ Sora wondered. And then he was back on Claytons trail.

"Fuck this, Claytons taking the hardest route" Sora mumbled and he ran the opposite direction.

He reached Kerchek before Clayton. Tarzan was there.

For those who don't know, Kerchek is actually a Russian hit man. But is mistaken for a monkey because he thinks he is one.

"Kerchek! You must kill everyone in village!" Tarzan oo aah'ed

"Yo Tarzan, I didn't know you were on my side" said Sora.

"NO TARZAN! I would never do you a favour. Kerchek owes no one. Now go eat shit." Kerchek said; painfully rejecting Tarzans request for man slaughter.

Sora did plan on killing everyone, but now he had an even better idea.

* * *

4 days later he returned to camp. He saw Jane and Clayton talking, and Tarzan was picking flees from his shin hair on the box stack.

Sora shot Clayton and Jane and shot Tarzan in the shin. He then tied Tarzan to a splint log and

started to roast him over an open fire. He had started plans for his new product; Goofnip. And Tarzan was his first piece of ripe meat.

Sora packed his new product in some ice boxes, grabbed his crew and hopped on the Gummi Ship! Off to the next destination!

* * *

AND THATS IT FOLKS. I know we haven't written anything new in sooo long. I wrote this awhile ago and I just didn't post it because It was a present for Insanity and I didn't want her to see it in advance. Anyways R&R

Love ya'll

-Generation Pope


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